How to build relationships as an early-stage founder
Imagine walking into a room full of people who could make or break your startup. You don’t know anyone, and no one knows you. For many founders, this is terrifying – but it doesn’t have to be.
As an early-stage founder, one of your most important jobs is building relationships.
A great product is a multiplier, but relationships are the base. Without them, you can’t find customers, attract investors, or recruit a team. Relationships are the key to everything.
But how do you build them? Especially when you’re starting with nothing, no reputation, no network, no proof that what you’re building even works? It’s not as hard as you might think, but it does take effort and focus.
The good news is, relationships don’t rely on charisma or natural charm. They rely on three simple things: showing up, being useful, and staying in touch.
1. Show up where it counts
Building relationships starts with showing up. But where? You don’t need to attend every networking event or spray LinkedIn messages to anyone with “investor” in their title.
Instead, go where people relevant to your startup already are. For example:
- If you’re building a B2B software tool, show up at industry conferences or meetups where your potential customers gather.
- If you’re in tech, attend demo days, pitch nights, or hackathons.
- If you’re targeting a niche community, join forums, Facebook groups, or subreddits they frequent.
The idea is to position yourself in spaces where your potential customers, partners, or mentors already spend time.
Don’t spread yourself thin trying to meet everyone. Focus on the few people who truly matter to your startup's growth.
2. Be genuinely useful
When you meet people, don’t pitch right away. Instead, focus on how you can help them.
This might sound counterintuitive—after all, you’re the one who needs help. But the quickest way to build trust is to provide value first.
Here’s how:
- Ask questions. People love to talk about their challenges. The more you listen, the better you’ll understand how you might help them.
- Offer small favors. Maybe you know someone they should meet. Maybe you’ve read an article they’d find interesting. Offer to connect them or share the resource.
- Share your expertise. If you have insights or skills that could solve a problem for them, share those freely.
When you help someone without expecting anything in return, you stand out. People remember the person who solved a problem for them or made their life easier. And when they remember you, they’re far more likely to want to help you in the future.
Take Stripe’s early days. The founders, Patrick and John Collison, didn’t start by pitching their product. They started by solving other founders’ payment problems.
They’d offer advice, debug integrations, and even write code for customers. That approach built deep trust, and turned those first users into lifelong advocates.
3. Stay in touch consistently
Relationships don’t grow overnight. They take time and repeated interaction.
Most founders make the mistake of meeting someone once, then disappearing. Don’t do that. If you want to build real relationships, you need to stay in touch.
Here’s how:
- Follow up after every meeting. Send a quick email or message thanking them for their time. Reference something specific you discussed to show you were paying attention.
- Keep them updated. Every few months, send a short update about your progress. It doesn’t have to be long—just a paragraph about what you’ve achieved and what you’re working on next.
- Be personal. If you see a piece of news or a resource that’s relevant to them, send it their way with a short note.
- Invite them to things. If you’re hosting a demo day, launch party, or webinar, invite them. Even if they don’t come, it’s a reason to connect.
The goal isn’t to bombard people with messages. It’s to keep yourself on their radar so that when they think about startups like yours, your name comes to mind.
Think about the strongest relationships in your life. They’re probably ones that you’ve had for a long time, and had consistent interactions with.
When you make people feel seen and supported, they’re more likely to stay connected to you. We often have chats with founders long after they’ve left Stone & Chalk, because we have a genuine care for their success.
4. Be honest about what you’re building
As a founder, it’s tempting to oversell what you’re working on. You want to make it sound bigger, more successful, and more polished than it really is.
Resist that urge. Real relationships are built on trust and honesty. And that’s far more important than your fictional vision of success.
When you talk about your startup:
- Share your vision, but don’t exaggerate your progress.
- Be upfront about what’s working and what isn’t.
- Admit when you don’t know something.
Why does this matter? Because people can smell exaggeration a mile away. If you’re honest, people will trust you.
When social media startup Buffer was just starting, founder Joel Gascoigne was open about his progress. He shared every milestone and setback on his blog.
That transparency attracted early users, investors, and even employees who wanted to be part of his journey.
5. Ask for help (the right way)
At some point, you’ll need to ask for help—whether it’s advice, introductions, or investment. The key is to ask in a way that makes it easy for people to say yes.
Here’s how:
- Be specific. Instead of asking for “advice,” ask for feedback on a specific challenge. For example, “How would you approach customer acquisition in this niche?”
- Keep it short. Respect their time. A concise email or message is more likely to get a response.
- Make it easy to say no. Acknowledge that they’re busy and let them know it’s fine if they can’t help.
- Follow up with gratitude. If someone helps you, thank them—and tell them how their advice or introduction made a difference.
When Ben Silbermann was building Pinterest, he emailed dozens of entrepreneurs asking for advice on how to grow a platform.
He kept his messages short, specific, and respectful—and many of those people became key advisors who helped Pinterest scale.
Many founders struggle with the fear of asking for help. It’s hard, but getting past fear often comes down to taking small, intentional steps that build confidence over time.
Instead of fearing rejection or failure, think of your journey as an opportunity to learn and grow. Fear often shrinks when you approach challenges with a mindset of curiosity.
By asking for help, you’re seen as more honest and more human. This can go a long way in helping you build your relationships.
6. Build long term relationships
Finally, remember that relationships are not one-off transactions. The best connections don’t just help you with your current startup; they become part of your broader network for years to come.
Focus on building relationships that last. Here’s what that means:
- Be patient. Don’t expect immediate returns. Relationships take time.
- Invest in people. Help others even when there’s no obvious benefit to you. Over time, those investments come back.
- Stay connected, even when you don’t need anything. The best time to build relationships is before you need them.
It doesn’t all have to live in your brain either. Use tools like a Customer Relationship Manager (CRM) or even a simple notebook to remember birthdays, life events, or shared interests.
The amount you remember is a soft proxy to the amount that you care.
Final Thoughts
Building relationships as an early-stage founder isn’t about being smooth or charming. It’s about showing up, being useful, and staying honest.
If you do that consistently, you’ll build a network of people who trust you, support you, and want to see you succeed.
And that network will be your biggest advantage. Long after your product changes, your relationships will still be there—helping you learn, grow, and build whatever comes next.